14 December 2012

Meditate & Destroy....

Whassup peoples?

Okay so, you all know (well perhaps not all of you) that from 1982 to ~1990 I was in High School & College (don't be countin on yo fingers how old I am, maybe I was one of those smart kids. Not!).

In those times, the average American WASP kid was searching for an identity and at this time the Punk Rock scene had crossed the pond from the UK to the Americas. And we are talking about none other than Sid Vicious and the Sex Pistols, GBH, Toy Dolls came a little later on. But this was the scene "I" grasped.

It was raw, violent, ethanol & drug induced AND very political. Although at the time I was not mature enough to fully grasp the politics going on then, but I received my political science education in the lyrics, in the long talks with kids my age who did know politics.

If you saw us sitting in Cantor's at 1 am drinking coffee, with our brightly colored Mohawks, leather studded jackets with political paintings on them; you would have ran! But if you could have heard the words being said (sans every other word being Fuck or Fuckin) you would have wanted to jump into the conversation as we sounded much like hippy Professors straight outta Berkley. We weren't dumb kids, we did dumb things under the influence though.

Anyway, a friend introduced me to a meditation organization here in LA that was started by such a punk as described above. And while I personally do my meditation 5 times a day in the form of Salat (prayer) to my Lord. I ordered a documentary on this guy for one of my sons to view. And it is entitled, Meditate and Destroy. It is very good.

As you know, I take Khundalini Yoga and have been working on figuring out a way to start my own practice utilizing different Surah's that have been proven scientifically to calm our heart rate and slow our breathing. Insha Allah one day!

But one parallel I found in this film is that this group does not fall into your typical Buddhist meditation. Noah Levine has found a way of bringing a 12 step program and Buddhist meditation together that is very successful.

And I wonder do we, as converts/reverts to Islam, need to do something like this also? I know we have our awesome Scholars (Al Maghrib, Bayyinnah, Suhaib) Webb) to teach and guide us. But what can we do to take it a step further? Lets face it, the older generation will run our Masajids and although I love and respect them, they will not budge in taking the culture out of Islam.

Just a thought!

For now, Punk Rock will never die!


10 December 2012

A Little Less Conversation...

..A little more action please
All this aggravation aint satisfactioning me

Okay, so I am aware that these words are from an Elvis song
And, what I am writing has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the topic of this song

But, I am sort of feeling like this: (but with a Hijab under the hats)

And, while I'm NOT aggravated, nor am I NOT satisfied - I'm just kind of at that (see picture) on Projects I am working on or involved in right now.

Okay, I'm done with the description pictures - feels like you are reading a Children's book huh?

I am working on projects around our house with the painting of several rooms, organizing and distributing items that are no longer needed, and after the outside of the house is painted, I will need to lanscape again {as all of my plants have been pulled out ;( me crying}
And, my deadline for all of this is.............. January 12th.  Oh yes!!
And, I will not be receiving any help with this unless I want to $$
And, I'm realizing, I am getting old and my body gets hurt easily.  LoL
And, there is the time issue.. but, this is everyone's complaint with house projects

Anyway, if you have any suggestions, ideas, etc.. I would be glad to receive them.

So, when I start to feel overwhelmed; I just go find this guy and he just seems to make me smile and chill out.

Okay - here are a few of my favorite blogs:

Be Well, Have a Great Week - Teresa has left the building!!

04 December 2012

Whassup my Ninjas?

So, this is what you missed for the last few weeks...
  • My back went out and I was stuck in bed (no surprise there)
  • I lost a few and gained a few pounds
  • Had a little hysterical, PMS, hormonal FLIP OUT... in public...(shocking, I know)
  • Didn't pay some of my bills
  • Spent way too much time talking and making up songs about Nooshi (yes, my cat)
  • Watched the same happy, holiday, love stories on LMN for the third time
  • Pissed my spouse and children off (like that's new)
  • Did my job (see above.... haa haa.. I jest)
  • Volunteered hours at my housecleaning job (yes, the one I live in)
  • AND... attended my friend Harvey's West Coast Premiere of his Documentary "Bible Storyland" - here is a plug and a pic.. it was really very well done

PRODUCT PLACEMENT ..... Go see it.... very Cute!!

This is Mimi the pig                and                      this is Harvey

and here is the trailer

And, that's what you missed in life and chronicles of Teresa's amazingly boring life :)

Be Well and Shake it Like a Polaroid Picture!

25 November 2012

Day +++ Taking Time Out to Smell the Roses

Sometimes the daily grind (AKA Life) can just get to you. And once the negative flow starts, it's like an avalanche. It starts out with a snowball the size of a baseball and rolls on down that hill so quick, meanwhile picking up more and more snow and ice along the way. Then in its path of destruction it does not care what is in it's way. It's too late to care. Until it finally hits the bottom and smashes apart.

This is how my life feels lately. Although so many signs in the form of people, activities, small miracles have been presented, I have been like that avalanche and chose to ignore their significance.

Why do we do that? It's not because it's easier to just give in to the negativity and destruction because that takes way too much energy. Perhaps we just become comfortable in this feeling and it's an easy escape from reality and an excuse to be alone and wallow in our misery.

I recently went through some pretty dramatic events in my life. And while one might say, "Oh come on Teresa, dramatic, really compared to the people of Syria, Gaza, Burma, etc?" And No nothing like that, but then I can't compare myself to their situations as I have never lived through oppression and war. But it is dramatic in my life and and comfort zone so it doesn't make it any less important.

So today I'm finally sitting and forcing myself to do nothing but think and smell the roses, well really the green tea and oranges that my feet are soaking in. Listening to calming Asian music in a quiet place. It's what works for Me.. and living in the middle of a city, it's the only way to find peace and quiet for an hour. Because as soon as I walk out the door, the hustle of cars, helicopters, sirens, people will consume my ears and brain.

But, Insha Allah (God Willing) I will walk out just a little bit calmer, with a little peace of mind and positivity.

Peace and Be Well. I'm gonna try!

12 November 2012

Day Whatever.... Mamas Been Sick ick

So I've been sick, in bed all last week, with Bronchitis. (I know feel bad for me)

I want to continue my Negotiations thing here.. but I'm starting to feel the cold, cough, antibiotics kicking in. So I'm gonna be quick.

One Major thing I took from this class was a technique called "The Balcony" and if you look at a negotiation, whether it's something as big as a career negotiation or trying to get your 3 year old to bed.... this technique can really be an asset.

So let me try to draw a picture in your head with my words (you're getting sleepy) joking!!

Me My Kid


So I'm telling my kid he HAS to be home before 10 pm because (fill in the reason)

My kid is trying to negotiate and say it is impossible to get in before 10 pm because (fill in the reason)

So, as you know, this negotiation will or could go on and on; start to get really heated; I could start threatening my son; he could say he's running away, etc etc...

But instead of bringing up the past or attacking his character or wasting time going back and forth; when "I" get to that point where I feel I "might just go there" ... I'm going to stop the conversation, take a time out and go to The Balcony".

Why? Because on the balcony, I can look down at the situation and see both sides and most important look at the big picture.

Then, we can negotiate.

Good Luck & Be Well

Mama T

30 October 2012

Day +40 - Negotiating Cont.. "Biases"

Biases & Perceptions Affect Everyone's Approach to Negotiations

This exercise is based on negotiations in research, so go ahead skip over it if ya like...

(For each hypothetical item, discuss or think about the potential biases and perceptions from both a Sponsor and Site perspective)
  1. A Sponsor has developed a new online contract portal;  all future negotiations will be conducted over it
  2. To comply with Institutional Policies prohibiting Consent Forms from mentioning contraceptive interventions, a Site revises every consent template the Sponsor provides to exclude reference to most contraceptive measures referenced in the Study
What did my Team come up with?
  1. The Site and Sponsor bias to this is that you lose a personal on on one relationship
    From the Sponsor perception it is saving time and money
  2. My team was really Bias on this as we felt it was un-ethical and irresponsible to take this out of the consent forms as it is important to make the patient understand that they must not conceive while on a study drug (I think we were all Regulatory folks)

Recognize Bias & Perception (yours and theirs)

How do you get outside of yourself in order to do this?   
- Learn their story   
- Get in their shoes   
- List their pros and cons

The Benefit of doing this are:  
- You identify other approaches to your problem 
- You avoid thinking "they" are always wrong     
- You work together more effectively
Tomorrow I will share the Proper Role of Emotion in Negotiating (yeah, something I have difficulties with)


29 October 2012

Day +40: The Art of Negotiations

As promised..... I'm sharing my Negotiation Workshop with you :) yeah..

Promoting Constructive Relationships for Negotiations

Remember: "The people are not THE problem, but they can be A problem"

Distinguish between Negotiations and Negotiators
- Two aspects of every negotiation:
1. Substantive issues (the meat of it)
2. Relationship issues (soft aspects of interactions with people)
- Address each, but don't link them
- Benefits
1. Negotiate with a "partner" not an "opponent"
2. Navigate disagreements better
3. Avoid 2 pitfalls
- Pitfall 1: Sacrificing the relationship for short-term substantive gains
- Pitfall 2: Giving on substance expecting a better relationship

Again, separate the people from the problem.

Remember the negotiation and the negotiator have something in common.

More to come...

Live Long & Get what you Need!!

26 October 2012

Day 38 - E'id Mubarak to me?

I'm going to digress from my normal template of posting tonite.

It's E'id and it is the second of the Islamic Holidays for the year. I should be so happy and joyous and have started some type of tradition for our family. But I cried all day which produced an anxiety attack which followed with the taking of anxiety meds which followed with me and my cat sleeping most of the day!

When I woke up the house was empty of any breathing souls (except the cat and I and probably the possum). I was even more down after that.

This was my day:
- woke up to go to E'id prayer; walked out because it was too noisy and I couldn't even hear the Imam.
- complained to some man outside about it
- a friend called to wish me happy Eid and has now titled me "angry" it kind if hurt Alot
- I cried my whole way home
- my oldest son and I went to breakfast and he asked why I'm so depressed lately. He said I was much happier when I was drinking lol
- I had an anxiety attack and took meds and slept
- now I'm sitting in my car in Starbucks talking to my good friend who is not Muslim but seems to know better about manners of holy places than many people I encounter

Maybe it's hormones - Maybe I'm just not cut out for my Deen - Maybe I'm just tired from traveling this week

But I'm a human being, I have feelings and emotions. I have so much love and respect for Islam, my Scholar teachers, the Imams and most important Allah SWT and Prophet Muhammad that I cannot give up because of the people.

Perhaps this was my sign from Allsh that my first film project should be etiquettes at the Mosque. It more than likely won't win me an Oscar, but Insha Allah it will win me rewards for the hereafter.


25 October 2012

Day 37: I'm Baaaaaaaack

Weight: None of ya damn business
LoL okay I'm getting on the
scale- hold on- I'm gonna
do 2 out of 3 {hold music}
192.5 wth?

Intake/Output: Okay so in my defense I have been in a conference and did nothing but learn, eat and sleep soooo I'm pretty sure I have some bloating going on. {I heard that and it wasn't nice}. LoL

# of times I swore: Yeah, I swore a lot the last few days at drivers and myself. I had a few "incidents" while out of town. I'll share once I can get to the point if laughing at them.

Exercise: 0

New Things I Learned: a billion (over exaggeration). My favorite was a negotiating workshop, it was awesomenation.

I must confess, I missed my Nooshi cat so much. When I got home today I was searching for him, when I found him, he looked at me and ran away like I was a stranger. It was very heartbreaking. But as soon as I started yelling at everyone he came running to me. Ohhhh Mama's home!! Haa Haa

Going to sleep now.

All aboard the express khandalini!!

19 October 2012

Day +31: I Am (not) Invincible

Let's Chat...

In case you didn't know, I have been bed bound for the past week (with the exception of driving to work and being at my desk). I have lost some weight, which is awesome, but, my joints (knees and hip) and lower back don't like this change so they have decided to rebel against me.

With this small hurdle, I have had much time to sit/lay and think. And I can remember in my 30's how a little thing like muscle strain never kept me down. I was like the energizer bunny and kept going.. you know the rest.

Perhaps being the bunny is what has caused this weakened result or perhaps it's just genetics (Dad with knee issues, Mom with hip issues). But I never thought that "I", Teresa Lyn Phillips, would ever be bed bound.. I mean, I'm invincible. I raised two boys, worked a full time job, took classes, and was involved in their activities.

But I find myself, in my 40's to NOT be invincible and I get very cranky when I'm stuck taking sooo many rest breaks. I have been taking it out on my Husband and my Boys when in actuality, I am angry at Me, Myself & I.

What was my "Ah Ha" moment: I was sitting with Nick (my eldest) drinking coffee this morning and I was just bitter and angry and bitching about my pain and my lack of productivity this week. And he looked at me and said,
"Mom, STOP. You are making excuses up for things that don't even need an excuse. If you are in pain, you find what you can do while sitting or laying. And Mom, you are bitching about missing your prayers but you can get up and remember to take pain meds, but you can't even get up in time to do a short prayer? That prayer you do 5 times a day is like the meditation I do to clear my head and stop the thoughts, stress, anger, etc. that I consume from life. And if you don't take those few minutes to do your meditation, you will Always have an excuse which in turn makes you angry, depressed, stressed out. So just stop."

Wow, my Buddhist son tells me this. Something that I have preached to so many others. Subhana Allah

I am not invincible!

Love and Rockets.

18 October 2012

Day +30 Girl Talk {warning women issues}

My weight is probably up right now as I haven't been too active this week due to a back, knot, muscle thingy!! :(

Moody Level
Okay Gals I'm just gonna be straight here - Hormones Suck!!

They suck when you are young (and single); They suck after you have babies; and They suck when you get my age (pre or peri-menopause)

I am so moody (the back pain is making it worse) I just can't even stand being around myself.

My family drives me insane. Little things (eg. a few dishes in the sink, wudu water all over the sink and floor, old newspaper on the table) these never bothered me and if they did, I just "fixed" it myself. No complaints, no problem.

Lately, this psychotic woman, whom I have never met, arises in the pit of my stomach and into my head and I bust out screaming (no exaggeration) at my family. And it doesn't end there, this foul mouthed truck driver also has taken over my mouth and I swear at my family. I mean, it's INSANE!

Alhamdulillah (all praises are due to God) I will be attending a conference soon and be out for a few days. I am praying that this time alone will not only help me out, but, give my family a break from me too. Hopefully they don't change the locks while I'm away. Well as long as I can get my cat, I'll be fine. ;)

Alrighty, going to slap some smelly old people stuff on my back, take pain meds, and sleep!!!!

Peace and all that Stuff

11 October 2012

Yawm 27 - I can't fit my Deen into a little box

My Thoughts.. cause I just need to get it off my chest:

So, I ran into an old friend last week and he asked me if I had read the book "Taqwacores" or seen the documentary on the writer.  Of course, I had not!  So, I sat down with my computer and logged into Netflix and watched it.

Brief explanation - Michael Muhammad Knight is an American Convert to Islam.  He was raised by his Mother - his Father was a white supremacist and very abusive to his Mother.  He did not meet his Father until he was in his early teens.  At the age of 17 he went to the Faisel Mosque in Pakistan to study Islam.  Masha Allah - very lucky kid.  He is a very educated young man with an MS from Harvard and he is working on his PhD.  He wrote a fictional book called "Taqwacores" which was about a group of Muslim kids in America who are into Punk Rock music and are questioning their Faith. (which is probably all kids, from every faiths, everywhere)  Well, after this book was published and read by many youth who were into punk/ska music - they started contacting him.  Hence, the documentary...

Back to my chronicles... This documentary is very raw (and I'm not speaking of the cinematography which was very beautiful) but, it is very real.  There is the use of bad words, smoking of tobacco & pot, and drinking.  I am sure so many Scholars, Mullahs, Imams would frown on this and accuse Mr. Knight of "influencing" the Muslim youth.  But, let's get real... how many of YOU have smoked, done drugs, drank or even done other things that are against our religion?  If your family or friends knew or know about it, I am sure they hide it from the outside world or from family.. correct?

You know what?          We Are Human Beings and just because we are Muslim, We Are Not Perfect.

Even if you have never drank, done drugs, gambled, went out clubbing and have always done what your parents have told you... (if it was not Haram to gamble)  but, bet that you have had bad thoughts, your intention was not always pure, you missed your Fajr prayer and on and on!!  But, You are human.

So, I love this documentary because for Once it showed Real Muslims, struggling Real hard...

Here is a quote from the film that sums it all up (I apologize there is a line missing as I just could not understand what he was saying)

"Allah is arranging things beyond all our grasp.  The earth is not spinning because you told it to.  Your intestines aren't digesting by your command.  And we think Submission is just applying a strict discipline to our Worship.  It's not that small to me.  I can't fit my Deen into a little box.  Because to me everything comes from Allah.  Birds sing Allah's name.  To say Allah is in this book, but not that one.  And to say Allah likes this and not that.. Do you know Who you are talking about?
Allah is too big and open for my Deen to be small and closed.  Does that make me a Khafir?  I say Allahu Akbar.  And if that's not good enough, then (F word) Islam, you can have it."

That last sentence seemed very harsh to me.  But, we know linguistically, Islam means Submit.  The word in itself defines the way we worship in our religion.  So, to me, he is saying "why should I submit, if everything I do or say is wrong or controversial?"

Insha Allah I would love to meet and interview Brother Michael and his Wife..

My Regular Stuff will be back tomorrow.. :-)

Peace Out People!

07 October 2012

Day +20... My New Manifesto

So, I'm adopting the Holstee Manifesto

Here it is:

"This is your life.
Do what you love, and do it often.
If you don’t like your job, quit.
If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV.
If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.
Stop over analyzing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful.
When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences.
Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them.
Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.
Some opportunities only come once, seize them.
Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so go out and start creating.
Life is short. Live your dream and share your passion.”

Have a great week everyone!!

05 October 2012

Day +20...It's Time to Get Serious

I'm going to deviate today from my normal craziness and get serious with you.

I'm really scared right now about my career. There are "things" going on that are so unsteady and confusing to me. People who "I" view as some really great individuals are suddenly gone. I apologize for writing in circles and not being straightforward, however, I must keep a small amount of confidentiality.

I like to think that I've submitted myself and my life to Allah SWT, but it seems that when certain realities arise in my life, I tend to turn my thoughts (mind, body and soul) internally. And I start to crawl into this hole of depression and anxiety. All the while, I am shirking my responsibilities and commitments to my family, my Ummah and my friends because of this dark hole I have gone into.

So first I ask Allah SWT to forgive me for not putting my trust 100% into Him; then I ask all of you to please forgive my aloofness lately. Insha Allah things will settle and my Iman will be stronger so I'm able to face the world again with my happy, goofy self.

Jazakallahu Khair

04 October 2012

Day 20 - I needs ta Bitch..(bad word warning)

Weight:     The same

Unprocessed Food:   Ummm yeah, not really working out for me this week :)

Mood:  I have been feeling pretty good lately.  Just super tired. I had a great, productive week at work, so that always makes me feel excellent.  I'm just sleepy.

# of Times I was FORCED to Swear at Drivers:  Okay, this is where I need to Bitch..
Today I had to deal with SADs (Stupid Ass Drivers) all day long.

This morning - a BAT (Big Ass Truck) and I almost did a head-on collision in an alley (shortcut to SB).  This dumb bitch driving this big ass car decided she had the "right of way" and literally drove my Prius off the alley and into a huge pothole.

I swore..gave a dirty look.. I was angry.

Then I had my coffee and felt better.

On the way home - every single BAT decided to drive on my Ass.. You Know.. GO THE FUCK AROUND me if I'm not going 100 mph (that's exaggerated) and ride someone elses ass.

Oh I was a bit stressed by the time I got home.  But, I had a few Chocolate Chip cookies and felt much better. 


Have an awesome Friday..

03 October 2012

My Morning....

My Lovely Drive
My Car that gets me there
My Beautiful walk to the Cube
The Cube

02 October 2012

Day +15 PhotoBlogger

Last Night:
So I came into a quiet room in the house, rolled my Yoga Mat out, popped in my basic Yoga DVD. And all was good and zen. Until... my youngest son comes in the room!

Picture this... I'm in Childs Pose and apparently the cat was in the room too (unbeknownst to me) and my son sees me de-stressing in child's pose and the cat is sniffing my butt!!

So I pretty much quit after that and went and had a chocolate shake. (It was a natural one)

Weight, Mood, etc: all the same

I PhotoBlogged my day but I can't do this correctly on the ole iPhone so will do another day.


01 October 2012

Day +15: Back in the saddle again..

 I'm baaaaaaack - back in the saddle agaaaainnnn!! (songs will be posted on the bottom)

So, this is what you missed on TCofT over the past few days:

That's correct - absolutely Nothing, Nada, Wala shy, Rien

Well, that's not 100% true - as I wasn't feeling so great and someone in my family wasn't feeling so great but the details would probably gross you out, so I will refrain.  That's right, you read correctly - Refrain.  Me.

So here are my stats:

 Weight:  Well, I gained 5# - then lost 5# (no details)

Mood:       I'm going to get real with you.  I was not able to attend Yoga this week-end and    I'm really bummed about it.  I have a super busy week and really wanted to get that stress release out of my neck, etc.  So, I pulled out an old basic Yoga DVD that I will attempt to do every night before I go to bed until I can get back to the class. :)

Unprocessed Food Challenge:
The challenge started TODAY.  Since I was unable to get to Sprouts or Whole Foods, I compromised today.  So, here goes

  1. Banana
  2. Quad Venti Non Fat, No Foam Latte
  3. Blueberry Scone.. yeah I know!
  4. Watermelon, Pineapple & Mango with Lime and salt
  5. Have No Clue what to have for dinner - I really want In N Out.. but..
Thought of the Day:



28 September 2012

Taking a few Blogger Sick Days

Well Bloggers.. I have this inkling my body is "still" detoxing.

All week long I had allergy and sneezing going on.. but I wrote it off just as that

This morning I slept through 2 alarm clocks (Thank Allah it is my flex day).. missed yoga and Friday prayer and coughed most of the day with other issues that I will keep to myself

So, I was able to go to Masjid tonight to pray and hear a talk by Shaykh Wassim Sharif (who is an awesome linguist teacher)

Am home, took cough meds and going to crash because I cannot miss a really fun party tomorrow that I have been waiting for.. Right?

G'nite... Good Morning and Good Afternoon in case I don't see ya (Truman Show)

27 September 2012

Day 10+ I gotta bitch...

or I might just explode!
(Metaphorically Homeland Security, don't get all excited)

Weight: Am feeling about 200# today

Mood: Really super crappy!

So here's my deal-i-o:
- only female
(aside from my cat, Sam, who is like 150 years old in cat years)
- have a full time career
- take classes part time (yoga, islamic and film)
- starting a small business

Now don't you think that the 3 grown males (and one baby kitty, Minoush) could, would be overjoyed to, want to help out around the house?

Of course not! All 4 of them want me to spend the few hours I have to cook, clean, do laundry, iron, pick up after them and organize all their shit for THEM!

You know what? One of the reasons I started my yoga-food-small business is not just for me, but for them. I had got to that point in my own life where I was so depressed that I cried, slept and gained weight. I can continue that life, but I will eventually end up with health issues or offing myself. And what good am I to them at that point?

I keep on being told.. Say Alhamdulillah (Thanks be to God) and stop complaining. I AM Alhamdulillah for MY life.. I think they need to say Alhamdulillah for a wife and mom that is trying to better herself so she can be healthy and leave a legacy (production company) for them.

Am I right? wrong? full of shit?

Comments are appreciated (if they are mean I will just be pissed at you for a minute.. I get over things quick). Alhamdulillah!

Yoga tomorrow Insha Allah woot woot

26 September 2012

Day 10+ Boom Shaka Laka

Weight:   Okay, okay - I will actually get on that scary scale on Friday morning.  But, if it's wrong - "Somebody's gonna get hurt, Real bad" - Russell Peters

# of Times I got Angry at Drivers:  0 (I'm not lying either)

Mood:  I had an extremely good day today.  I was actually happy, productive, full of myself, you know the personality of a typical EFPU or whatever I am.

Today I was listening to the New Season of Glee while sitting, being productive in the Cube.

As I was having this grand - one woman party - attempting to do "the Dougie" in my chair (get your filthy minds out the gutter) - well, I saw out of the corner of my sweet, innocent eye..................... the finger.
Yes, that one.  So, as I slowly turned in my chair to the source of the finger; it was none other than my buddy, my mentor, someone I call my friend (a tear falls) saying Good Night to me. 

And, this person ruined my damn party which really pissed me off. You know who you are!!

Thoughts of the Day:
Don't get mad, do the Dougie

My New Fav:
Luving this guy

Hanni El Khatib

24 September 2012

Day 11 - "When you Grasped the Question

Did you forget the meaning?
When you met your challenge
Did you go out Fighting?

We will discover... Ripeness"

by:  Echo and the Bunnyman  You Tube Video

So the key to this little diddy above is the word.... you guessed it..... Challenge

I ran across this October 2012 Unprocessed Food Challenge and am trying to decide if I should take that Challenge

Would LOVE your comments, suggestions, ideas, blah blah blah on this... Have you done this before.... Are you currently doing this.. etc..

Weight:      I have lost 1 pound (ummmm it was probably my shoes)

# of Times I Swore @ Drivers Today:     1 time at a driver who was just driving like a dickhead and swerving in and out of traffic.. and 1 time at the Sun for being in my eyes and giving me a headache on my drive home.  I think the Sun listened, because it left.

Mood:  Still in the Zen.. feeling chill zone.. and was PROductive today. Yeah Me!!

One of my New Favorite Blogs:
99U - Insights on making Ideas happen

Teresa has left the building.... Good Night!!

23 September 2012

Day 9 & 10 - Detoxing

Hello, Hello

Weight- no idea

# of Times Swore at Drivers- no idea

# of hours slept in the last few days - are you ready??? 24 hours. No exaggeration.

I'm feeling very icky and my muscles are very sore. I am craving water. My oxygen sats were low today and asthma acting up.

So I turned to my BFF "google" and typed in "why am I sick after first Khundalini yoga class?"

And this is what was returned from Carol Meirs Yoga Blog:

"The organs begin to detox, they cleanse themselves and the liver produces bile which goes to the stomach before being processed and excreted from the body. This can be unpleasant, after all toxins are poisons. So to help, drink a lot of cool water, preferably spring water, but I usually drink South West France tap water. You can also take a glass of warm water, mixed with lemon juice and a half teaspoon of salt. You can drink this during the yoga exercises also."

Hmmmm I guess it's working!! I'm super excited now to know that all my toxins are coming out, but rather disappointed that I was un productive this weekend. I guess in hindsight I wasn't un productive as my body was indeed working hard to get the years of crap out of it.

Can't wait for next weeks class.. Is my skin going to glow, my waist be 20" smaller? Insha Allah

Great week to all!!

21 September 2012

Day 8 - Mama's got her Kushoo back

Weight: 0 because I'm floating on air

Dietary: Okay will get real with y'all. After my awesome yoga class Masha Allah. I felt so great I Yelped an organic coffee spot; but as I was driving there, Starbucks jumped out at me and pulled me into their clutches. And I'm just not sure I'm ready to break up with SB just yet. We've been together for so many years, it's just going to take a little time.

Mood: Floating man (and nope didn't smoke dope). So I'm just relaxed times a trillion and my mind is just chill. So know I'll school some of you..

Kushoo means "submissive" in Arabic. And you know when your praying or trying to even concentrate on something; your mind wanders? It's a natural reaction for our bodies because we are constantly "on the go" and "switching gears". Well when I first started praying, my Kushoo was so intense that I almost felt like God was right in front of me. I would unintentionally smile at God. And through the years, I have lost this feeling. Even after taking courses and listening to lectures on it; nothing seemed to work for me.

My next step in search of Kushoo was to evaluate my body language while praying. And I noticed how tensed up my whole body was... Aha.. YOGA And in particular, Khundalini which is the focus on Yoga breathing, stretching, concentration on muscle groups, making sounds that actually are scientifically proven to release certain chemicals in the brain and meditation.

So in essence, when the core (the navel) of the body is coiled up tight from stress, the consequences of this affect, not just the muscles, but the brain. And this type of Yoga helps to unbind this and loosen you up; mind, body and Kushoo.

Insha Allah one day I would love to study the vibration sounds of some of our Ayats and incorporate it into an Islamic Type Yoga. Cool huh? Until then, my Intention when I say this is for no one but Allah SWT is:
ONG - The sound of Infinity as it relates to Creation.
NAMO - I name
GURU - That which takes you from dark to light,
DEV - Unbounded Light of the Highest Consciousness
NAMO - I name" or I identify

However when I greet or leave my teacher, in respect to her culture I say "Namasta" and she says "Salaam" to me. I luv the respect for each others culture in these two simple, but powerful words.

One last thing before I bid you a Good Night.. Want to share new, cool things I find with you.

One of my New Favorite things:

Flowy lightweight yoga inspired clothing made from organic cotton, bamboo and you guessed it, soy
Here's their blog:

Day 7 - Alhamdulillah

Weight: not important right now

Mood: wonderful! Very productive in my job today.

This evening I had dinner with my Documentary people. I just luv them. It's really cool to be amongst filmmakers who are non-judgmental, open to all types of conversation, great potluck too!! I feel like I'm with family when I'm with them. Some of the stories from the people who have worked in the business for so long are just amazing. One man worked on the original "Tron" and told us how they colored the film to give it certain affects. And the creativity used was incredible, now a computer program does it all. And then us new people, we are so excited to get started or are already working on projects. The advice from the professionals is priceless.

On our way home (I carpooled) we witnessed the most horrible thing you can when driving 60 mph on the freeway. A car merging in from another freeway to my left crossed all 4-5 lanes and smashed head on, then did a 360 right into the very small breakdown lane wall. Subhan'Allah no other driver was hit, Subhan'Allah I was able to hit my brakes in time, Subhan'Allah out of all the drivers, a nice young man and myself and my passenger were the only ones to pull over and call emergency and check in this man. As other drivers are honking at us to move out if their way. Really people? What if everyone did that if you we're in an accident and unconscious? What happened to dropping everything, risking your own life (not even realizing it at the time) for a fellow human being?

And the sad part is none if us could get phone service so I asked the young guy are you okay if I head out and call up the road where I get service? He said yes of course I just don't want this man suffering here alone. So we drive off and called emergency services. They were rude!!! I was asked more than once if "I" was involved inches accident, NO, I witnessed it but had to drive off just to call you. This man could be very hurt. No one else was involved. The reply, we have already received a call. Wow!! Instead of interrogating me, you couldn't just tell me that? I guess that's the price you pay for caring about another person!!

May Allah help us all

Good Night

19 September 2012

Day 6 "The Trenches"

Weight: well my fav jeans are loose in the waist so I'm estimating a few pounds

# of times swore at drivers: 0 on my in this morning. :)

Mood: much to my amazement it is pretty darn good. But then I did get some much needed sleep last night and the hormone factor is leveling.

I made it to the confines of my cubicle without incident; no escorting of the armed men in trucks (as sometimes happens although my face has been seen here for many years - go figure); a monthly gathering went off with no incidents; however have now come back to my safe zone to find numerous missed calls and texts from my offspring requesting ME to make phone calls for THEM... really??? Like I have nothing else to do today.

Okay so, I was Super Mom today. I made a phone call for my kid, picked up his diploma (yeah he graduated a while ago) and got a salad all in less than one hour. Thank you, Thank you

So my day was productive; I even drove the cart today with no incidents (crashing, dropping files all over the place, running anyone over) then my thunder was stomped on...

A very un-ethnic savy question I received today, "Why did you wear that today?". Oooookkkkkkaaaayyy. I had jeans, cute pink tunic and my scarf. So have no idea why I was asked that by this individual. Then the conversation turned even stranger, so I said, "Okay well see you later".

Upon returning home I was asked by my son, "Mom would you mind doing the dishes right now?"...
Really???? I left the house at 7 am and just got home at 730 pm and now I should clean YOUR dishes? Hell No!!

I'm locking myself in my safe room and hiding for the rest of the night.


18 September 2012

Day 5

I don't actually weigh myself each day. But today I made very good food choices; lots of fresh fruit, whole grain toast, only 1 cup if coffee. So I'm pretty happy with myself

Walking (from my home office to kitchen)

Much better today than yesterday when I feel comfortable I'll go into details, but the gist of it is i had to attend a teambuilding thing but we all had to take a few question personality test and the result I received was very devastating to me. It made me question and contemplate whether life was even worth living for me. As the personality explained was that of a loud, cruel person who had no qualms about hurting ones feelings. And an individual that values materialistic possessions more than people. And in my personal opinion, this person described is not a good Muslim so why would I want to even continue on doing good if this is who I supposedly am?

I'm taking this whole thing to a Psych MD to discuss and possibly shed some light on it for me. Just for my own peace of mind I'll let a professional counsel counsel me and not someone with a BA or MBA who took a seminar. Ya digg?

I'm going to go kiss my little possum friend good night and go to sleep (that was a lie)

17 September 2012

Day 4... blah!!!

Weight:     about 10 pounds lighter

Exercise:   i took stairs today - up one flight and then back down  - lol

# of times swore at drivers:     0 (i'm totally serious)

Mood Swing:    I'm going to get real... I sat at my desk and cried today.  The aforementioned gathering produced some information that really upset me.  For now that is all I can say about it, until I gather some facts and obtain some advice. :)

Sorry for the seriousness today - I'm still on Team Jacob so it's kinda getting me down.. I know, boo hoo - poor Teresa.  LOL

I'm going to get some sleep now..

16 September 2012

Day Three

Blogging from the ole iPhone today so forgive any mis-spells.

Am very tired today as was struck by a Vampire in my sleep and sustained major loss of body fluids, mainly red blood cells (extreme exaggeration)

With that said, I'm exhausted and doing some much needed catching up on:

- making sure the Sofa pillows are still stuffed to the maximum comfort
- testing the fan temperature and velocity
- watching movies that are in need of a good review before I let my kids watch them
- testing the cookies for any possible poisonous substance prior to sharing with the family

Anticipating tomorrow as an interesting gathering is to take place. Insha Allah all will be well and my # of times I swore to myself will remain low.

Good Day to all

15 September 2012

Day One into Day Two

Weight:     Oh forget about it.  Whatever eaten on the week-ends are free.... and I'm bloated.  Yeah, I said it, deal with it.

Activities:   Today was about other people.  I know, I know.. I'm diverting - but, really it was and I LOVED IT..

  • Got up early, well in time to meet a wonderful Sister who will be driving the Ramadan Hijab Drive items to Mexico.  However, did not make it to class and opted to get a coffee which I spilled in my bag and on the car. 

  • Took my oldest son to Trader Joe's to do some healthy food shopping.  He did.  I picked up Molassess cookies, various flavored goat cheese and crackers.  YUMMY  Then, my son in turn, took Me out to lunch in which I had the BEST fries (chips) of my life at Wing Stop.

  • Came home, did my Volunteer Housekeeping job
  •  Dressed for a Nikkah (Muslim Wedding)  Masha Allah

One of my lovely little Sisters from my Community got married today :) Big Huge Smile. Getting sentimental now - so, have a good 10 - 20 years on my little group of Halaqa sisters.. but, they took in this old stray and embraced my craziness.  I feel like they are not just my Sisters in Islam, but my little Sisters.  Being an older, experienced woman I feel like I need to protect them from the evils in this world.  So, when one of them gets engaged - I say, "Is this young man worthy of our little sister?"  And, the conclusion is always Yes.. but, I still have to ask.

However, all of the events took place off of the 405 freeway today and today is Carmaggedon II 
"the closure of the nation's busiest freeway" (per NBC News).  Which meant I had only a period of time to get back into the Valley before 11 pm.

Here is my Story:
As I was nervously watching my time, I noticed everyone starting to leave. Around 10 pm I saw the room starting to thin out very quickly.  Oh no, I have around 35 miles to drive before the closure times traffic.
So, me and my little Prius wound our way through Torrance up to the dreaded 405 freeway.  As we were driving as fast as we could to beat the dreaded closure the time was ticking.  I was starting to get nervous as the traffic slowed before the 10 freeway.  This was my OUT.. I could take the 10 and avoid getting stuck.  But, we pressed on.  We were getting closer and closer and the time was running out.  In the last 5 miles stretch, I placed the car in Power Drive and we kicked assphalt all the way up the hill.  And as we were cruising underneath the Grand Dame Mullhuland Drive Bridge - the reason for Carmaggedon II.  I looked up at the underbelly of it and said, "You Son of a Bridge, You Don't Own Me - Ha" and pumped my fist in the air.  Then swerved a little into the lane next to me...  # of Times I Swore at Drivers Today:   1

Good Nite..

14 September 2012

Day One - Night

Weight:       Between 180 & 185 (I know right? It's because I'm tall)

Food:         A slice of pizza & water while driving to class

Exercise:   20 min early for first Khundalini Yoga class (i hope someone gets here soon I have to use
                   the bathroom)

# of Times I Swore at Drivers:     !!

Nicotine Intake:                            !  (refer to above)

Update on Yoga: still waiting. I guess no need to drive fast and get a ticket. (that was a lie) but I did drive over 35 mph. Come on... it's a Prius... that's going fast!

Update on Yoga:  am home now, eating a big bowl of Chocolate Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream
Why?  Because apparently the Yoga schedule changes daily.  # of Times I Swore at Drivers:     !
 Nicotine Intake:    !

Note to Self:  look for new Khudalini Yoga class that isn't 8.4 miles away and doesn't change their schedule as many times as I change my underwear....

New Goal:  go to sleep early tonight so can get up for Fajr prayer and start Arabic Class at 830 am..

Wish me luck and do lots of Duas

Good Nite

Introduction to Teresa

Hi my name is Teresa, Sr Teresa, Aisha, Sr Aisha, Mom, Honey, Pumpkin, Woman, Stubborn Scandinavian Girl.  But, you can call me Pam!   I am at a minimum 40 years old, but look and act about 20 ;) I am Married, have 2 boys, 2 cats and a Hello Kitty toothbrush.  I am a pretty religious person; meaning that my religion, Islam, is not just a one day a week practice for me, it is a 24 hour, 7 day a week practice for me.  Do I struggle?  You betch ya.. I'm not perfect (ssshhhhh don't tell my kid's because I tell them that I am), I struggle on a daily basis with being a good person (I'm a little bit of a smartass) and I try hard to keep Allah (which is God in Arabic) in my thoughts all of the time.  But, I'm only human.

But Why?
you are probably asking yourself right about..............now! are you doing this?  Just chill, I'm about to go into that.  Well, I have found that in order to succeed in a task or a plan, you need to hold yourself accountable to it.  What better way to do that then to post it publicly and have you remind me?  Am I right?

The Plan
to bore you to tears, make you laugh and cry, make you feel sooo much better about your own life and to hopefully get feedback, encouragement, criticism (cause I take that so well) and advice back from you.

My Issues
  • Imaan (my faith)
  • Mood Swings (hormones)
  • Weight (haa haa)
  • Marriage and Kids
  • New Business Venture

So, if you will, please sign-up to be a Supporter; share/pass my blog on (you know, like a joint.. oh come on, we were all young once) or just Read and Laugh.. it would be greatly appreciated.

Jazakallahu Khair - Thank You

and... it begins!!

13 September 2012

Under Construction

The Chronicles of Teresa has been kind of a downer the last few years.

But then I suppose this is just how life is, it can't be drama-free, political-free, rainbows and unicorns all if the time. That is just not realistic.

However, we can try... Right? The glass is half full and what not.

So with all of the gobblygook written above here is what's going on:
- I'm making some big changes in my life right now
- My body is making some big changes that are not in my control (Aka menopause)
- I'm taking a step to get off of nicotine for good (Aka the dreaded gum)
- I have already began my Imaan challenge
- I quit my gym, that I hadn't attended in 2 years, and am on a new venture. Just wait... Mwaaahaaahaaa

So get ready for the Chronicles of my New Healthy Non-Moody Embracing my Menopause Life