I'm going to deviate today from my normal craziness and get serious with you.
I'm really scared right now about my career. There are "things" going on that are so unsteady and confusing to me. People who "I" view as some really great individuals are suddenly gone. I apologize for writing in circles and not being straightforward, however, I must keep a small amount of confidentiality.
I like to think that I've submitted myself and my life to Allah SWT, but it seems that when certain realities arise in my life, I tend to turn my thoughts (mind, body and soul) internally. And I start to crawl into this hole of depression and anxiety. All the while, I am shirking my responsibilities and commitments to my family, my Ummah and my friends because of this dark hole I have gone into.
So first I ask Allah SWT to forgive me for not putting my trust 100% into Him; then I ask all of you to please forgive my aloofness lately. Insha Allah things will settle and my Iman will be stronger so I'm able to face the world again with my happy, goofy self.