13 April 2013

It's time for me to Confess

I am actually an Alien named Mork from the planet XCFBJTJMBF!

This is what's going on right now..

Many of you know (because I'm not shy) that I found out approximately 4 - 5 years ago that I have Adult ADD and that I was, more than likely (love the way Psychs say that the other Psych fucked up), mis-diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and have been treated on the incorrect medication since 1995. Yes folks, for a little over 10 years!

But, the mis-diagnosis and even the new diagnosis has never been the "big" problem. It was the treatment that was and has been the problem.

Before I go into the exciting facts about SNRIs and our brains, let me tell you what has happened to "Me" while de-toxing from the #1 Prescribed Medication.

Without going into too many Medical details right now (which is actually MY favorite part) - the half-life (how long it takes for the drug to exit my system) for this drug is around 12 hours.

Now, I have had no side effects in a 24 hour cycle;
Hypothetical Day:
800 am Take pill
800 pm Pill has exited the building
800 am Wake Up and Repeat

So, it's when there is no repeat (either forget, only have 30 pills in a 31 day month, switched insurances and couldn't pay $150 for 30 day supply) You get my drift, this is when the fun begins.

First, the "brain zaps"
Second, the "shakes"
Third, the "crying" for no reason at all
Last, (mind you this was only recently added to the 1% of side effects) the seizures.

Yes folks, in the middle of a deep sleep, you sit up, take a deep breath and chomp down on whatever is in your way (tongue, cheek, lip)

And this is missing it for a little over 24 hours!

There are pages upon pages of forums, blogs, etc on this drug and it's horrible de-toxing. No attorney will take the big, bad Pharma Company on so all of us poor slops get to suffer (and the people around us too)

So, I'll be writing about this. Insha Allah and depending on how I feel at that second.

I will also share the medical part with you-just so you understand- in case you are living with someone or going through it yourself.

Oh, so I'm calling this medication, hmmmm, for now - Big Bad E

Good Nite

Same Day, Different Life

Sometimes I am curious, did Allah Subhana wa ta 'ala really choose "Me" for Islam or did " I" choose Islam for some reason tucked inside my sub-conscious mind?

I was told that ALL of my previous sins will be forgiven and my plate wiped clean.

So then why do I feel like I'm being punished?

My previous life may not have been up to any religions standards; but, I was kind of happy.

I loved drinking alcohol and smoking.
I loved having parties and clubbing.
I "was" not only the life of the gathering, I was the party!!

I was in debt, yes, but I had an awesome home, wardrobe and a housekeeper.

So why?

I gave up alcohol for Allah
I gave debt to feel like I'm in more debt for Allah
I recently gave up smoking for Allah

So why am I punished?
- I have never been so fat in my life
- I have never been such a social outcast in my life
- I have never lived in a place that looks like a Hoarder resides in it
- Why did I never notice how much my kids resent me and just don't give a shit
- I have never had un-matched hand me down furniture
- I have never been so depressed about my life

Perhaps converting was my Rehab. But now that I'm better, what do I do?

I can't live my life like this much longer; I will be forced into debt just to get the house cleaned up.

Thank God tomorrows another day!

07 April 2013

"Like" is a Conjunction, not a Button

You know, like, I was pretty much raised in the 70's and, like, this was the way we talked!

But, anyway - Like - What's up?

As you can tell I have been away for about:
  • 2 months, 3 weeks and 3 days - but who's counting

I have been butt-free, smoke-free for:
  • 3 months, 2 weeks - yay me!
I'm not going to lie, it has not been an easy task.  The first thing that pops into my head when I am Stressed - Depressed - Hormonal - Ecstatically Happy is a cigarette.  And, it takes total willpower to Not go and bum one off of a smoker on the street or drive to the local 7-11 and buy a pack of smokes.  And, I will not lie, I have driven to 7-11 or the petrol station and Sat in my car.  But, in the end, I kept it real y'all!!

Okay, so I am going to share some wonderfully creative slang words from my era.. and yes, you will notice some of them are still used today..

  • Psyche
  • To the max
  • Bogus
  • Don't be such a spaz
  • Far out
  • In your face
  • Keep on truckin
  • Gag me with a spoon
  • Bitchen
  • Bummer dude
  • Cool beans
  • Copasetic
  • Doobie (if you know what that is, lol)
  • Loadie
  • Fag hag
  • Faked you out
  • For sure (but in the Valley we said fer sure)
  • Geek
  • Get real
  • Gnarly (lol my Bro still uses that word - what a geek)
  • Gody or Grody to the Max
  • Jonesin
  • Later days or Later skater (if you skated)
  • Mellow out
  • Narc (that's what I was when my Bro would have a party)
  • Primo
  • The rabbit died (okay, this was something that the fast gals used)
  • Rad
  • Stoked
  • Streakin (was actually a trend in my era)
  • Tubular
  • Totally
So, this just might explain my generations lack of grammer skills or it was the fact that we were more than likely a bit stoked from sucking on a primo doobie in the parking lot before English class. (we can ask my Bro about that - joking?)

Sorry this is short and sweet, but I am "supposed" to be resting today.  Ha!

One of my New Favorite things:
by PeaceMakers, for PeaceLovers: we are a social business which creates products from landmines and unexploded ordnance (UXOs) to support sustainability in post-conflict countries.