19 October 2012

Day +31: I Am (not) Invincible

Let's Chat...

In case you didn't know, I have been bed bound for the past week (with the exception of driving to work and being at my desk). I have lost some weight, which is awesome, but, my joints (knees and hip) and lower back don't like this change so they have decided to rebel against me.

With this small hurdle, I have had much time to sit/lay and think. And I can remember in my 30's how a little thing like muscle strain never kept me down. I was like the energizer bunny and kept going.. you know the rest.

Perhaps being the bunny is what has caused this weakened result or perhaps it's just genetics (Dad with knee issues, Mom with hip issues). But I never thought that "I", Teresa Lyn Phillips, would ever be bed bound.. I mean, I'm invincible. I raised two boys, worked a full time job, took classes, and was involved in their activities.

But I find myself, in my 40's to NOT be invincible and I get very cranky when I'm stuck taking sooo many rest breaks. I have been taking it out on my Husband and my Boys when in actuality, I am angry at Me, Myself & I.

What was my "Ah Ha" moment: I was sitting with Nick (my eldest) drinking coffee this morning and I was just bitter and angry and bitching about my pain and my lack of productivity this week. And he looked at me and said,
"Mom, STOP. You are making excuses up for things that don't even need an excuse. If you are in pain, you find what you can do while sitting or laying. And Mom, you are bitching about missing your prayers but you can get up and remember to take pain meds, but you can't even get up in time to do a short prayer? That prayer you do 5 times a day is like the meditation I do to clear my head and stop the thoughts, stress, anger, etc. that I consume from life. And if you don't take those few minutes to do your meditation, you will Always have an excuse which in turn makes you angry, depressed, stressed out. So just stop."

Wow, my Buddhist son tells me this. Something that I have preached to so many others. Subhana Allah

I am not invincible!

Love and Rockets.

18 October 2012

Day +30 Girl Talk {warning women issues}

My weight is probably up right now as I haven't been too active this week due to a back, knot, muscle thingy!! :(

Moody Level
Okay Gals I'm just gonna be straight here - Hormones Suck!!

They suck when you are young (and single); They suck after you have babies; and They suck when you get my age (pre or peri-menopause)

I am so moody (the back pain is making it worse) I just can't even stand being around myself.

My family drives me insane. Little things (eg. a few dishes in the sink, wudu water all over the sink and floor, old newspaper on the table) these never bothered me and if they did, I just "fixed" it myself. No complaints, no problem.

Lately, this psychotic woman, whom I have never met, arises in the pit of my stomach and into my head and I bust out screaming (no exaggeration) at my family. And it doesn't end there, this foul mouthed truck driver also has taken over my mouth and I swear at my family. I mean, it's INSANE!

Alhamdulillah (all praises are due to God) I will be attending a conference soon and be out for a few days. I am praying that this time alone will not only help me out, but, give my family a break from me too. Hopefully they don't change the locks while I'm away. Well as long as I can get my cat, I'll be fine. ;)

Alrighty, going to slap some smelly old people stuff on my back, take pain meds, and sleep!!!!

Peace and all that Stuff